Dear Lord
I am imagining today, it’s just you and me sitting here together on this park bench under this tree, (see picture below) side by side to listen to each other.
Although there is a little water laying around on the ground, I know that does not deter you in this cold winter season. The warmth you radiate between the two of us sitting here together is generosity, grace and love all wrapped up in the beauty surrounding us.
You know how things are in my life at the moment, but I wish to share more, if I may, on how it is resonating on the inside of me.
The ‘triage’ of thoughts that have recently emerged, to confront me from losses some years back have surprised me as I thought I had placed them in your keeping Lord Jesus but as they have niggled, I am troubled by their perpetual simmering at the back door of my mind.
Your word says ‘take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ’ 2 Cor 10:5 and as I do another reminder comes raising itself from other avenues so ‘renewing my mind’ Rom 12:2 through constant prayer is imperative.
I know you are looking after all those I love and miss in your embrace in eternity Lord, but the loss of their physical presence is like a hole made in a knitted jumper that not repaired quickly then grows larger with every stitch dropped - as with those that have gone on to be with you - they were to us, ‘watchman on the wall’ in prayer cover over our whole family and with them now missing at their post I feel that I am struggling at my post to fill the gap that has been left.
The type of responsibility I am sensing is a little like a story I was told while on a walking tour through Zurich, Switzerland in 2017…
in the year 1292 women were all that were left standing to defend their city (men were off at war elsewhere) so the women stood their ground, dressed in armour etc and stood on the city walls so the enemy coming were intimidated (thinking
they were men from a distance) and turned around to run away! (read Hedwig Fountain on Lindenhof Hill in Zurich for more details) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedwig_Fountain
Below left is statue depicting women in 1292 & Below right are pigeons using the same fountain in Zurich as mentioned in article!
Continuing to choose to focus on things that are ‘true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable’ Phil 4:8 is where I know I need to direct my thoughts, but I feel a lot like I am slipping up and allowing the enemy to slink in through the gaps now created.
Lord, hold my hand, assure me of your strength, help me stand and hold the banner of your name high in this season of mind battles and renegade thoughts posing as what is true.
I thank you so much for being my closest comfort, dearest friend, deepest confidant and so much more in this journey I walk in daily.
Thank you for sitting here, listening to me today and next time I find an empty bench, I will sit and invite you to come and sit next to me for another personal chat and time together!
Austria 2017
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